I can't stand rude and insensitive people. Even worse, I really can't stand rude and insensitive old people; 'cos you still kinda have to respect them 'cos they're, well, old.
Especially if they cannot (or refuse to) see or understand other people's point of view and think that they're right all the time. SO damn irritating.
Worse still, you're related to them (horror!!) and have to bite your tongue so bad, you start tasting blood.
Like for example:
Old person (OP): So, you still teaching?
Me: No.
OP: Why?!
Me: I don't want to. (I really dun feel like going into details about why I left the service with people I hardly know, hell, I can't even be bothered to explain to people I know)
OP's wife: Wah! One month teaching and u decide to quit?! Hmph!
Me: (in my head) Who the hell are you?! And what the f*** are you talking about?
OP: How long u've been teaching?
Me: 3 plus years.
OP: I was in teaching for 40 years!! You 3 plus years only cannot take it... (shakes head)
Me: (bites tongue. very hard)
OP: What you doing now?
Me: Baking. I've joined my mum to sell cakes.
OP: (Looks at me up and down) Hmph. (looks away)
OP's wife: Yak yak yak yak yak...(Sorry, blocked most of what she said 'cos she was just being loud and VERY insensitive)
Bear in mind:
1. The above was exchanged at a table which was fully occupied by other family members.
2. It was at a Malay wedding (goodness knows how many people were around).
Now, what pissed me off were:
1. OP's wife was very loud and I was so hurt and it was so embarassing. How embarassing? Her daughter-in-law who was at the same table didn't know where to look.
2. Honestly that was the first time I've ever met her (seen OP a few times), so how dare she just open that mouth of hers and accuse me of so many things and looking at me like I was a pariah who commited the highest sin by quitting my shit-ass job.
3. Just cos you were in the same line as I was for donkey years, please remember that you were in the system donkey years BACK, and things have changed SO MUCH in case you haven't noticed (obviously you haven't), so don't go all high-and-mighty on me jus 'cos I did something I felt was right for ME.
I was so upset, my head was spinning all the way home and then some. Ranted at MB and he kept apologising and I was like, "What're you saying sorry for?! Pujuk me lah!!"
Bless his heart, he tried so hard to cheer me up even though I had to tell him what to say to make me feel better! Haha! And he bought me a Moroccan Mint Latte from Coffee Bean (never fails to cheer me up).
I wonder if other ex-teachers go throught the same grief as I do. Teaching is a noble profession, yes I agree, and leaving it was not a decision I made overnight (as some people like to believe). But the payoffs are great. And I believe Allah has other plans for me; things are really falling into place now, and I'm glad that I now have the time to focus my energy towards my family and more fruitful things, intangible as their results may be, I have faith in my decision. My parents and my luvly husband (lucky me) are fully behind my decision, so to hell with what others say.
To those who've been in the teaching line but have since retired, don't keep saying young teachers now cannot take the heat, the education system has evolved so much so fast, it's just not the same; plus nobody likes a holier-than-thou kinda person.
To those who've never taught but tell me repeatedly, "Oh, what a waste, sayang eh? wasted all the training..." shut up already, you know nuts.
To those who immediately look at me like i'm crazy and stoopid and start ranting at me,"How are u paying for your house? Are you sure you will have enough money? You want to be a housewife?! What about your bills? You sure or not?!" Like hello, what's that all about? I'm not using your $ to pay my bills right?! Just shush already. Sheeesh.
To those who've been very supportive, it means a lot to me to know that I have people who are genuinely happy for me and wish me the best.
I truly do not miss waking up at 5.30 am and leaving the workplace at 4 to 5 pm everyday;
I truly do not miss being depressed every Sunday night cos I got a long week ahead;
I truly do not miss sincerely wishing that the taxi will do a U-turn and take me home whenever I reach the Paya Lebar exit;
I truly do not miss working lunches;
I truly do not miss being on MC and still worrying the whole day about what happens to my kids in school;
I truly do not miss being so tired every day that I hardly have the energy to spend quality time with my family in the evenings;
I truly do not miss ranting to MB about work politics when we could be using the time having a fruitful conversation about something else;
I luv it that now I get to eat breakfast everyday with MB.
I luv it that I talk more to my mum now than before.
I luv it that I have discovered something that I can be good at (baking!)
I luv it that going to the market is not something foreign anymore.
I luv it that now, when I'm sick, I can truly rest.
MB luvs it that I dun get depressed on Sunday nights and on the last day of school hols.
On the flipside, I have friends from diff schools who go home at 3pm almost everyday, no extra projects, get most of their one-week hols off... I'm happy things are working out well for them. I've been to three schools and never had that kind of schedule; its ok though, not my rezeki, just deal with what I got. I worked my ass off, gave it my best shot, but just realised that, hey, this doesn't work for me.
I was talking quite some time ago with my friend about the book Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom, she said that all teachers should read it 'cos it's so inspiring, so I went ahead and read it, and, well, I was inspired. Nothing to do with my profession, but at the end of it, I just felt, that's it, I need to change how things are going in my life.
It tok a lot of guts to pack up and leave, there were times when I thought that, maybe, I made the wrong choice, but no more. I'm sure now that Allah has plans for me, and as I've said before, everything is falling into place,Alhamdulillah. So what if I have to make some sacrifices? The world will not stop turning if I shop less.
I don't feel like I have to justify my decision to anyone. I was working in a system that I felt I did not fit in, so I left, simple as that. Why is it so hard for some people to accept this?
NR
phrase of the day: Carpe diem (Seize the day)